Sometimes the prose I write is in-the-moment, with whatever paper I have available or handy.
In this particular case, I wrote this on the pages of my small blue weekly appointment book while at a local, well-known DC bar/music venue called The Black Cat, my handwriting scanning across the pages of January 26 through February 6th. Its extremely personal and stream-of-consciousness, drop in a rhyme or rhythm as it comes, and not typed up nor shared with anyone until this very moment.

----
History
circa Feb 5 2009


Where the Hell is Ben Johnson?
Is it necessary that I resurrect him from the grave?
Is that still his name?
Is he still alive?
Is he imprisoned, or is he free?
And why has he not yet come to find me?

Where does he think he is going?
And where has he been?

Is he still the wild man?
Is he still the hero?
A risk-taker? A life-warrior?

He said once he wants to marry me.
And I said he would never be
serious enough for me.
Oh silly, silly me.

Is he lost? Is he found?
Will he ever again come around?

Is it silly for me to ponder
whats become of him these days?
Is it useless for me to wonder
all that is and could have been?

Dear Ben, Its strange the way I miss you
in changing times like these.

And its strange how sometimes
you show up, you reappear,
you come back, and again you are here!

Its likely you've moved on,
by now you've changed and gone away.
And I've been elsewhere,
busy, submerged,
not evening listening for your sound.

But now my life has changed again,
and that is usually when you appear,
when I've lost hope, or lost my song,
that is when, historically, you have come along.

And if I saw you across the room tonight
as I scanned the Black Cat crowd,
I wouldn't hesitate to scream your name aloud.
 

where are you, Ben Johnson?
where did you go, Benny?

how am i supposed to find someone who cannot be found?
you are lost to me, but to you, you are found,
for wherever you roam, you rule.

you were lobbying as an intern on Massachusetts Avenue when we last were together.
you loved it and were amazing at it, but you would get so very drunk each and every day.

i was still working at the university when you came through and left.
but my next career step would take me downtown and down the street,
to share the very same city block where you had worked just months before,
before you headed south back to Richmond.

but it was so lovely when you were in town,
we bounced on clouds to dive bars and karaoke nights,
and we left earthquakes and volcanos in our wake,

because as our history shows,
when your forces and mine combine,
we are supernatural, unstoppable, 
we are the last of revelation's prophets  
evoking words, evoking spirit, evoking time. 

you've always been a free bird. always on the hunt. 
you promised things along the way,
i knew you'd always keep them.
and even though you're lost somewhere,
i feel you close within me.

i ponder what these years have brought you since you left the safety of my sight.
perhaps you've made your fortune and you've found yourself a wife,
perhaps you've settled down somewhere to make yourself a life.

although its just as likely
that you're still wandering far about,
living your adventures,
being crowned a complex king,
a beggar, a jester, and mystic. 

i don't know where to find you. you were always hard to find. 
but always when i least expected, there you would appear
shining, standing there, on my doorstep again. 

my long lost spiritual brother. 
my twin of heart and soul. 

will the Age of Aquarius bring you to me?
will it be the work of Aphrodite?

send word to me, call out loud, shout to the sky,
let the birds and the wind bring your message to me,
let me know where you are, where you'll be,
and what the hell have you been doing? 

until finally the sweet breeze brings you to me,
i will be here relishing in our archive of memories. 


~B

My weekend escape to Los Angeles provided an opportunity to put down my DC life for a couple of days and experience my Self in another city, another world, even, without the weight of the many chains that I left at my doorstep. My friend Brooke can sympathize with the activist's life on the East coast and the constant feeling of climbing, battling uphill. In Los Angeles, it appears that people are doing more living, and less asserting, of their beliefs. It is not a fight of ideals so much as it is a space for all to exemplify. This probably explains why people are generally nicer and less up their own asses in denial in LA than in DC.

I arrived Friday night just after sunset and was picked up from the airport and taken to Venice Beach. I freshened up and off we went for some dinner. Then I asked Brooke to approve my outfit for our evening of fun. We met up with two of her LA friends, Amy, who is an actress/model, and Adrienne, a publicist (and paparazzi!). Throw in me, the witch/poet/musician, and the four of us comprised some sort of 2008 Los Angeles version of the Sex & The City crew. Off we went to Hollywood for a night of clubbing and photo-snapping and people watching, and being watched by people.

After a very, very late and ridiculously fun evening out Friday night lasting until nearly 5am (I didn't think I had it in me!), I got in 3.5 hours of sleep before Brooke's LA Boot Camp began, and she came into the guest room singing about sunshine and the beach, opening the blinds, and encouraging me to get started on touring this wonderful world of Los Angeles.

We traveled around town, shopped in Beverly Hills and Hollywood, saw the Walk of Fame stars, and we ran into Batman, Marilyn Monroe, and Ariel the Mermaid. Later, a friend Thomas I've known for years through the internet and his girlfriend Kemi met Brooke and I down Santa Monica Blvd for some frozen yogurt from PinkBerry. We stopped by a pizza parlour for a few minutes and sat at the sidewalk tables. Then, my bright shining moment of celebrity-sighting: Janeane Garofalo walked down the street right past us! I wanted to shout "I love your work, Janeane!" but didn't want to be rude. Truly, I want to meet this woman and sit down to have coffee with her for a couple of hours. I am two degrees of separation to her through my acquaintance with comedian Marc Maron who worked with me during the First Freedom First campaign event earlier this year.

I truly enjoyed the tour of Los Angeles, and how beautiful the neighborhoods are, the amazing trees with their twisted trunks and all the inspiration I took in for future creative projects. I found myself yearning to be near this energy, and am about half-decided on starting my plans to relocate some time in the next year or two.

There are lots of photos to share over the next few days, so as Brooke and Adrienne find time to upload their cameras, I'll post a few.

Here's one of Brooke and I on Saturday morning at the In-N-Out in West Hollywood:


And Friday night under the Sunset Blvd. sign, heading back to our car at 4am:

Back safely in DC this evening. Amazing weekend in Los Angeles.
Full report when I find time in the next couple of days.

For now, an obligatory 'Ladies Night Out' L.A. vacation photo:

(L-R: Amy, Brooke, Adrienne, and moi)

One of my most favorite people in the whole world,

lady_bogside is soon moving from Capitol Hill of DC to The Hills of Hollywood to start a new life. I'll certainly visit her when she gets settled because its far too easy for me to get sick of East coast weather. 

So I actually not only went OUT tonight, but also I wore a dress and make-up and heels and tried to do my hair (too humid right now to bother though). Once my coffee kicked in, I actually had some energy. I tried partying as late as I could, but my Irish Princess has better stamina than I, so I only lasted until about midnight. 

The evening was grand as it included much DANCING!! A nice friend of Brooke's spun me around the dancefloor and dipped me to the floor as we danced to a pretty damn good cover band with a female singer. Brooke and I made a point to sing all the songs we knew the words to. It was a lovely evening of innocent high-energy fun.

Here's some photos!

Brooke and Bethany


Group Shot


Me and my dance partner Mike looking very serious.


OMGZ I'm a smoker! (quitters never win, winners never quit) 


And these are our  'East Side - West Side' gang signs. 

 

And finally, this is one shot before the boys arrived.

Happy Birthday to lady_bogside,
who always looks 10 times more fabulous than me at any given moment!
An ode to 5 years of friendship, in pictures....

OMG, look, I'm kissing Brooke like 5 years ago!!!


We're the hotties on the right... 4 1/2 years ago!


aaand we're tired and buzzed after participating in the 2004 St. Patrick's Day Parade!!


Hey, we're partying in '05 at Cafe Citron!


And oooh look at us being all patriotic at a Hillary Clinton rally... (god I look awful)


And the super-cuteness of halloween 2007
(see pretty scarf? you can't have it!! brooke gave it to me! neener neener!)


Brooke ... I hope you have *THIS MUCH* fun this year!!